That describes my life, perfectly. I don’t often play the role of the leader, I’m more of a follower, and if asked what I want to do, I would shrug my shoulders, and answer, “What do you want ME to do.” Therefore, in times of adversity, I struggle with choices and mull over my decisions, often second-guessing myself.
My oldest, we recently discovered, is fighting his own personal demons, and has asked for help, and I struggle with what would be the best way to handle this situation. Part of me feels he’s making a bigger deal out of this then he should. Of course, he has always been that way—lots of drama, even over the littlest things. In addition, he’s a teenage boy and isn’t it typical of teenage boys to make bad decisions in life? Then again, this path he’s on can lead to very destructive behavior. Moreover, he has asked us for help, and I guess the best course of action is to give it to him, even if it means more therapy.
This is the same child for years attended therapy for apprehension and nervousness and received medications for anxiety and ADHD. Forever, doctors tweaked with drugs and doses and always seemed to be some sort of side effect; fast heart rate, dizziness, loss of appetite and sleeplessness. To this day, he still has trouble falling asleep, and although we were warned Ritalin-type drugs could stunt growth—that did not happen, as he is 6 foot, 8 inches, but he has not put on the pounds or muscles. One day, he had enough of the drugs and doctors and we weaned him off all meds. Now, doctors want my youngest son on medication, to help him focus, although he has not been officially diagnosed as ADD or ADHD. I want to say NO to it all; however, spending time home schooling him, I see he does have a problem with attention, although not as severe as my oldest.
So whatcha gonna do?