THE FIRST TIME
Amanda: How did you find me?
Lee: We have our ways.
Amanda: I thought only Nazis and spies said that.
Lee: Well, I'm not a Nazi.
Amanda: Phillip, do not hit your brother in the head with trash.
Dotty: Clams again, Dear?
Lee: What are you wearing?
Amanda: What do you care?!
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Francine: Children. This case is nastier than I thought.
Lee: I hate this assignment. I want a divorce.
Lee: Senior agent always gets the bed. [Amanda rolls her eyes] Get your mind out of the gutter, will ya?
Amanda: You know. That's your whole problem. You're out of touch.
Lee: Out of touch with what?
Amanda: The way normal people do things.
Lee: I'm normal.
Amanda: Oh sure. You think sunbathing in Borneo is normal. You know most people just want to get through a day with healthy kids, friends they can count on, a regular job, and a roof over their heads.
Lee: Fine. That normal I'm not.
IF THOUGHTS COULD KILL
Lee: Who doesn't like me?
Amanda: Well, I think you should stop right now, because I will not get you a woman. [to the couple in the hallway] Hello.
MAGIC BUS
Amanda: When I told you not to call, I didn't mean you could come sit in my bushes.
Amanda: That is so petty.
Lee: Care to change your opinion?
THE ACM KID
Lee: I've got a real problem here. I've got this kid that won’t talk to me.
Amanda: By kid, do you mean one of those girls you date?
Lee: Yes, Amanda. Danger. Excitement. Intrigue.
Amanda: Oh, shut up.
Amanda: And frankly, Ricky Joe, sex with you was always a major disappointment.
Lee: Ham.
Amanda: Look Alexi, this is Lee Stetson. He is one of the top agents in the country. Now will you just untie us? He will rescue your parents and he'll stop these people. Trust me.
Alexi: If he's so hot, what's he doing tied up in a closet?
Amanda: Perfectly good question.
NEVER LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH
Amanda: You heard me, she thinks you're cute.
Lee: I am cute.
Amanda: Not that cute.
SERVICE ABOVE AND BEYOND
Lee: It's well after midnight, Cinderella.
Lee: If anything happens to her, I swear you'll do your time in a wheelchair, so talk to me fast!
SAVED BY THE BELLS
Amanda: I don't know how anyone could mistake me for you, you're so much taller.
Zinoviev: Tell the big fella to keep quiet.
Amanda: Quiet, Big Fella.
Amanda: Now my assistant will disarm you. Hold very still. Assistant!
REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST
Amanda: Yes, I mean, I know I can't punch, but look, if someone tried to attack you, I could confuse them to death. You know I could do that.
Lee: Oh, that I do know, and believe me when I need a blackbelt confuser I will call you.
Lee: Can I stay here?
Amanda: No.
Lee: Look, Amanda, no one I know would ever look for me here and everyone you know is out of town. So if you could just get past the psychological barrier of having me around everything would be great, so where do you want me to put my things?
Amanda: Guatemala.
THE MOLE
Lee: I have to do everything. Leave my coffee, drive the car, get shot.
FILMING RAUL
Amanda: If you give me a moment. . . I'll collect my thoughts.
Francine: Oh, great. Well, why don't we meet back here, say a week from next Tuesday.
Francine: You realize I have never done suburban frump before. Ah! Oh, how's this?
Billy: You don't think the scarf is overkill?
Francine: Oh no - it covers up the rollers. You know rollers are the hallmark of the middle American homemaker. It's a. . . it's like a club badge or something.
Lee: Hey, come on, Amanda, look. You're going to be all right. You're protected by the best there is in the business.
Amanda: I don't want the best there is, I want you.
Lee: Oh.
Amanda: I'm sorry, that didn't come out the way I meant it.
Lee: Oh, thanks a lot.
Amanda: I did exactly what you told me to do, I stayed right here.
Lee: Oh, well, what a refreshing change.
WEEKEND
Amanda: Later means never.
TO CATCH A MONGOOSE
Amanda: Lee, I would never tell you how to do your job.
Lee: Oh?
Amanda: Did I do something wrong? I mean I was being as good a guy as I could.
Lee: Mother Teresa was never that good.
THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN’
Amanda: Can't you ever just say 'hello?'
Lee: Hello.
Amanda: Can't you just stop these terrorists?
Francine: Now, why didn't we just think of that?
Amanda: What am I going to tell mother? She must be worried sick. I didn't come home all last night.
Lee: Yeah, I know that.
Amanda: I didn't even call.
Lee: Tell her you were tied up.
Amanda: That's not funny.
Lee: It's true.
THE LEGEND OF DAS GEISTERSCHLOSS
Amanda: Oh no, Sir. We're not a couple. We're together, but we're not a couple. I mean we're friends. We're just a couple of friends.
DOUBLE AGENT
Amanda: Lee. I want you to know that I am not at all worried because I know you are a highly trained, professional agent and I'm sure you have some kind of a plan to get us out of this. Don't you?
Lee: Not at the moment.
Amanda: No plan?
Lee: No.
Amanda: I'm very sorry to hear that.
Amanda: Take your belt off. Take off your belt. Take. . . your . . . belt. . . off.
AFFAIR AT BROMFIELD HALL
Amanda: No. I'm not going to let you do it alone. They've tried to kill you twice. If they try again I want to be there.
Lee: To do what?
Amanda: Um. . .
Lee: To do what?
Amanda: Scream?
SPIDERWEB
Amanda: Are you Perry Mason? Am I supposed to crack under the pressure or something?
LIFE OF THE PARTY
Francine: Amanda, I am an expert at hand-to-hand combat, small arms weaponry, wealthy men between 30 and 40, but definitely not a kitchen person.
Amanda: Look. Francine. You gotta do it, okay? Now you know how to cook, don't you?
Francine: I know how to hire a cook.
DOA: DELIRIOUS ON ARRIVAL
Amanda (loading a hairdryer with batteries): Why is this thing not loaded?
Amanda: Lee, you missed the cartwheel.
OVER THE LIMIT
Leatherneck: See the object of this thing is to fire your weapon at your adversary. Not the ceiling. The ceiling is on our side.
WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD
Amanda: Look, you won't talk to anybody, and you just act like you're some kind of Superman, and you're not Superman. You're just a man, but you're really a pretty special man.
UTOPIA NOW
Amanda: Not exactly.
REACH FOR THE SKY
Lee: Do you think you can break into Zorbel's place?
Amanda: No.
Lee: Well?
Amanda: Call me a cab.
Lee: You're a cab.
J. EDGAR'S GHOST
Amanda: Lee, we´re talking about love and when you talk about love, you have to be patient!
Amanda: This? Oh, nothing. This is free. It's the negative that's going to cost you.
FAST FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Lee: Let me walk you to your room.
Amanda: Across the hall?
Lee: Well yeah, you can't be too careful you know.
Amanda: Good thinking.
Lee: Mmm. Second nature. Field experience.
Amanda: What kind of field experience?
Lee: Oh, you know.
Amanda: Not necessarily.
Dead Men Leave No Trails
Amanda: What to do if you have an accident - stay calm. Great advice. No wonder this insurance is so expensive.
ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE
Amanda: This is a car, not a bottle of wine.
Francine: Uh. We have those embassy tapes ready but I see you have your hands full.
Amanda: Rehearsing.
Lee: Yup.
Amanda: It's rehearsing.
Lee: Uh-huh.
Francine: Oh. When is opening night? Little joke.
Lee: No, not this time.
STEMWINDER
Lee: I love you.
Amanda:What?
Amanda: Now wait a minute. You can't just walk into my life, hand me a package, tell me to give it to the man in the red hat, tell me that you love me and walk out of my life again.
Lee: Well, here we are. Nice quiet dinner in our cozy hideout, cleaning our guns. Another typical evening with the spy family.
Dotty: Amanda, did you get him?
Amanda: I'm working on it.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Amanda: Do you know who I am?
Lee: My Amanda.
NO THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
Amanda: I may be sleepy, but I'm not dead.
NIGHT CRAWLER
Lee: Amanda King, you are the best, the bravest, the smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever known.
PHOTO FINISH
Lee: Listen. If you had any deep dark secrets, they would have found them by now.
Amanda: I don't have any secrets.
Lee: Oh? I can think of one or two.
DO YOU TAKE THIS SPY?
Francine: Oh boy, that's tough luck, huh. You've got your vacation all set and then here you are up to your hind end in big time crime. I suppose Amanda could go out there first and then you could go out there later. I mean you're not inseparable, are you?
MISSION OF GOLD
Lee: I love you, Mrs. Stetson.
SUITABLE FOR FRAMING
LEE: I don't want it cold; I want it hot, tonight, with my wife.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amanda: How did you find me?
Lee: We have our ways.
Amanda: I thought only Nazis and spies said that.
Lee: Well, I'm not a Nazi.
Amanda: Phillip, do not hit your brother in the head with trash.
Dotty: Clams again, Dear?
Lee: What are you wearing?
Amanda: What do you care?!
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Francine: Children. This case is nastier than I thought.
Lee: I hate this assignment. I want a divorce.
Lee: Senior agent always gets the bed. [Amanda rolls her eyes] Get your mind out of the gutter, will ya?
Amanda: You know. That's your whole problem. You're out of touch.
Lee: Out of touch with what?
Amanda: The way normal people do things.
Lee: I'm normal.
Amanda: Oh sure. You think sunbathing in Borneo is normal. You know most people just want to get through a day with healthy kids, friends they can count on, a regular job, and a roof over their heads.
Lee: Fine. That normal I'm not.
IF THOUGHTS COULD KILL
Lee: Who doesn't like me?
Amanda: Well, I think you should stop right now, because I will not get you a woman. [to the couple in the hallway] Hello.
MAGIC BUS
Amanda: When I told you not to call, I didn't mean you could come sit in my bushes.
Amanda: That is so petty.
Lee: Care to change your opinion?
THE ACM KID
Lee: I've got a real problem here. I've got this kid that won’t talk to me.
Amanda: By kid, do you mean one of those girls you date?
Lee: Yes, Amanda. Danger. Excitement. Intrigue.
Amanda: Oh, shut up.
Amanda: And frankly, Ricky Joe, sex with you was always a major disappointment.
Lee: Ham.
Amanda: Look Alexi, this is Lee Stetson. He is one of the top agents in the country. Now will you just untie us? He will rescue your parents and he'll stop these people. Trust me.
Alexi: If he's so hot, what's he doing tied up in a closet?
Amanda: Perfectly good question.
NEVER LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH
Amanda: You heard me, she thinks you're cute.
Lee: I am cute.
Amanda: Not that cute.
SERVICE ABOVE AND BEYOND
Lee: It's well after midnight, Cinderella.
Lee: If anything happens to her, I swear you'll do your time in a wheelchair, so talk to me fast!
SAVED BY THE BELLS
Amanda: I don't know how anyone could mistake me for you, you're so much taller.
Zinoviev: Tell the big fella to keep quiet.
Amanda: Quiet, Big Fella.
Amanda: Now my assistant will disarm you. Hold very still. Assistant!
REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST
Amanda: Yes, I mean, I know I can't punch, but look, if someone tried to attack you, I could confuse them to death. You know I could do that.
Lee: Oh, that I do know, and believe me when I need a blackbelt confuser I will call you.
Lee: Can I stay here?
Amanda: No.
Lee: Look, Amanda, no one I know would ever look for me here and everyone you know is out of town. So if you could just get past the psychological barrier of having me around everything would be great, so where do you want me to put my things?
Amanda: Guatemala.
THE MOLE
Lee: I have to do everything. Leave my coffee, drive the car, get shot.
FILMING RAUL
Amanda: If you give me a moment. . . I'll collect my thoughts.
Francine: Oh, great. Well, why don't we meet back here, say a week from next Tuesday.
Francine: You realize I have never done suburban frump before. Ah! Oh, how's this?
Billy: You don't think the scarf is overkill?
Francine: Oh no - it covers up the rollers. You know rollers are the hallmark of the middle American homemaker. It's a. . . it's like a club badge or something.
Lee: Hey, come on, Amanda, look. You're going to be all right. You're protected by the best there is in the business.
Amanda: I don't want the best there is, I want you.
Lee: Oh.
Amanda: I'm sorry, that didn't come out the way I meant it.
Lee: Oh, thanks a lot.
Amanda: I did exactly what you told me to do, I stayed right here.
Lee: Oh, well, what a refreshing change.
WEEKEND
Amanda: Later means never.
TO CATCH A MONGOOSE
Amanda: Lee, I would never tell you how to do your job.
Lee: Oh?
Amanda: Did I do something wrong? I mean I was being as good a guy as I could.
Lee: Mother Teresa was never that good.
THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN’
Amanda: Can't you ever just say 'hello?'
Lee: Hello.
Amanda: Can't you just stop these terrorists?
Francine: Now, why didn't we just think of that?
Amanda: What am I going to tell mother? She must be worried sick. I didn't come home all last night.
Lee: Yeah, I know that.
Amanda: I didn't even call.
Lee: Tell her you were tied up.
Amanda: That's not funny.
Lee: It's true.
THE LEGEND OF DAS GEISTERSCHLOSS
Amanda: Oh no, Sir. We're not a couple. We're together, but we're not a couple. I mean we're friends. We're just a couple of friends.
DOUBLE AGENT
Amanda: Lee. I want you to know that I am not at all worried because I know you are a highly trained, professional agent and I'm sure you have some kind of a plan to get us out of this. Don't you?
Lee: Not at the moment.
Amanda: No plan?
Lee: No.
Amanda: I'm very sorry to hear that.
Amanda: Take your belt off. Take off your belt. Take. . . your . . . belt. . . off.
AFFAIR AT BROMFIELD HALL
Amanda: No. I'm not going to let you do it alone. They've tried to kill you twice. If they try again I want to be there.
Lee: To do what?
Amanda: Um. . .
Lee: To do what?
Amanda: Scream?
SPIDERWEB
Amanda: Are you Perry Mason? Am I supposed to crack under the pressure or something?
LIFE OF THE PARTY
Francine: Amanda, I am an expert at hand-to-hand combat, small arms weaponry, wealthy men between 30 and 40, but definitely not a kitchen person.
Amanda: Look. Francine. You gotta do it, okay? Now you know how to cook, don't you?
Francine: I know how to hire a cook.
DOA: DELIRIOUS ON ARRIVAL
Amanda (loading a hairdryer with batteries): Why is this thing not loaded?
Amanda: Lee, you missed the cartwheel.
OVER THE LIMIT
Leatherneck: See the object of this thing is to fire your weapon at your adversary. Not the ceiling. The ceiling is on our side.
WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD
Amanda: Look, you won't talk to anybody, and you just act like you're some kind of Superman, and you're not Superman. You're just a man, but you're really a pretty special man.
UTOPIA NOW
Amanda: Not exactly.
REACH FOR THE SKY
Lee: Do you think you can break into Zorbel's place?
Amanda: No.
Lee: Well?
Amanda: Call me a cab.
Lee: You're a cab.
J. EDGAR'S GHOST
Amanda: Lee, we´re talking about love and when you talk about love, you have to be patient!
Amanda: This? Oh, nothing. This is free. It's the negative that's going to cost you.
FAST FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Lee: Let me walk you to your room.
Amanda: Across the hall?
Lee: Well yeah, you can't be too careful you know.
Amanda: Good thinking.
Lee: Mmm. Second nature. Field experience.
Amanda: What kind of field experience?
Lee: Oh, you know.
Amanda: Not necessarily.
Dead Men Leave No Trails
Amanda: What to do if you have an accident - stay calm. Great advice. No wonder this insurance is so expensive.
ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE
Amanda: This is a car, not a bottle of wine.
Francine: Uh. We have those embassy tapes ready but I see you have your hands full.
Amanda: Rehearsing.
Lee: Yup.
Amanda: It's rehearsing.
Lee: Uh-huh.
Francine: Oh. When is opening night? Little joke.
Lee: No, not this time.
STEMWINDER
Lee: I love you.
Amanda:What?
Amanda: Now wait a minute. You can't just walk into my life, hand me a package, tell me to give it to the man in the red hat, tell me that you love me and walk out of my life again.
Lee: Well, here we are. Nice quiet dinner in our cozy hideout, cleaning our guns. Another typical evening with the spy family.
Dotty: Amanda, did you get him?
Amanda: I'm working on it.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Amanda: Do you know who I am?
Lee: My Amanda.
NO THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
Amanda: I may be sleepy, but I'm not dead.
NIGHT CRAWLER
Lee: Amanda King, you are the best, the bravest, the smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever known.
PHOTO FINISH
Lee: Listen. If you had any deep dark secrets, they would have found them by now.
Amanda: I don't have any secrets.
Lee: Oh? I can think of one or two.
DO YOU TAKE THIS SPY?
Francine: Oh boy, that's tough luck, huh. You've got your vacation all set and then here you are up to your hind end in big time crime. I suppose Amanda could go out there first and then you could go out there later. I mean you're not inseparable, are you?
MISSION OF GOLD
Lee: I love you, Mrs. Stetson.
SUITABLE FOR FRAMING
LEE: I don't want it cold; I want it hot, tonight, with my wife.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
