As much as I enjoyed his talk, I have to disagree with Brother Robbins, because I think the reasoning is backwards. In college, a student begins courses at the 100 level, and then the more they learn and study, the more challenging the classes become. The 500 level classes are for graduate students, those who have the knowledge in that particular subject matter or have become experts in their field of study.  However, at times as a mother, I don’t feel I am enrolled in the 505 classes or even the 101 classes, I'm enrolled in Parenting 99, a beginning course for those who aren’t quite ready for the more difficult classes and there are times I admit, I know nothing.

No child makes me feel more proud and at the same time like a complete failure as my middle son, Steffen—a talented, athletic, charming and handsome young man. A straight ‘A’ student (he was just accepted into the Junior Honors Society), he plays the trumpet, guitar and a little piano, is a Life Scout and is on track to earn his Eagle by the time he is fourteen. He competes in gymnastics and took home first place for his age and skill level at the Washington State’s Trampoline and Tumbling championships. He is a hard worker and is righteous, he volunteers in the S.T.A.R.S. reading program; tutoring younger students how to read, and he charms the socks off his youth leaders and teachers. . .

Yet, he feels life is unfair and is often down on himself.  He has incredibly low self-esteem and no amount of “I am proud on you” seems to help. He is very good at beating himself up and as his mother it is hard to see the tears fall from his face when he didn’t achieve the goal he set out to do, whether getting an ‘A’ on a particular assignment, winning a game, or mastering a gymnastics skill. 

He is very focused, whether delivering the Sacrament on Sundays or competing in gymnastics, however I somewhat feel he treats gymnastics like a chore, rather then something he is having fun doing. A few weeks ago, he won an award at the gym for “Best Smile.” I had to smirk, not because he does not have an incredible smile, but he never shows it at competitions. After the party, I was thinking how ironic for him to win the “Best Smile” award, when no matter how much I suggest to him to smile. I tell him, “Stick your landings, salute the judges and have fun out there.” Yet, he always has the most serious ‘military’ face on. His coach believes Steffen is focused on doing his “job,” and that is to perform and perform well. Just like Nadia Comaneci, she would become so involved in the performance she would forget the audience and not smile.

I love him to death. I think he is an intelligent and determined young man. He does have a cute smile and is quite talented. He is full of questions and questions everything, not just accepting things on face value. He debates me on everything. I have no doubt he will become a lawyer.  Yet, he pushes my patience to the limit and sometimes I feel I just can’t win. What can I do to help this child? What parenting class do I need to be enrolled?

For twenty years, I have been trying to persuade my husband to use the talents God gave him and to get back on stage. It has finally happened and this next week he will be in the musical production of Savior of the World: His Birth and Resurrection. Yay Ed!  Last Thursday, I was able to attend a rehearsal and was astounded how well Ed presented himself on stage. He has great stage presence and an amazing voice. My husband was involved in choir and drama while in college and preformed in a number of musicals, including productions of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and H.M.S. Pinafore. One weekend, he took on the role of the Captain in H.M.S. Pinafore after the lead came down with a bad case of laryngitis, and he didn’t even tell his parents. They had to read about it in a newspaper write-up about how he learned the blocking and choreography in one afternoon. Then one day he announced he had enough, that he was burned out, and regretfully he never performed again. I am saddened he no longer shares his talent for he has an amazing, rich baritone-bass voice, and I love listening to him sing. The man gives me goose bumps whenever I hear him, whether he is signing in the shower or along with the radio. 

In many ways, he is like our youngest son Joey, because they both do not like recognition, whether positive or negative. This past week, Ed was noticed at both play rehearsal and at work, because he dyed his hair—no longer salt and pepper, he now sports a dark brown hair color. Of course, he was teased at work. My personal favorite was when a coworker told him, “I used to work with your dad.” Poor Ed. Yet, he told no one about the production.

When I saw the flyer announcing auditions for Savior of the World, I encouraged Ed to take Michael to the audition, hoping he would try-out too. I thought the two of them doing the play together would be a good father-son bonding experience. Ed does not spend a lot of time with his boys and with Michael reaching adulthood, I thought this time together would be good for both of them.

Michael has developed a love for the theatre also. His high school just finished a production of the musical Pippin, which Michael was part of the ensemble cast. Michael, although very tall, is also very awkward and has not grown into his skin, and I thought drama would be good for him. Just as I thought, he was accepted by the drama troupe in spite of his differences and quirkiness and has done well, earning a stage manger’s award and director’s award last year. Yep, the nut did not fall far from the tree. He also plays guitar and has a dramatic basso profundo singing voice (although untrained). I enjoy listening to Michael sing and he has aspirations of becoming a country singer in Nashville. He sounds a great deal like Josh Turner. I  just wish I had the money to send him to private voice lessons.

I am proud of both Ed and Michael and look forward to watching them perform this next week. I know they will be great! Break a leg, guys!

Performances are Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7:00pm with a 2:00pm matinee on Saturday at the LDS Bremerton Stake Center located at 3877 SE Mullenix Road, Port Orchard. Tickets are free, but going fast. 

When I was a teenager, I rebelled against my parents. Not drugs, alcohol, smoking or late night parties. No, my method of rebellion was against attending “their” church. Eventually, I quit going all together; however, I still maintain much of my faith and core beliefs. Today, my children attend church with their grandparents and both the two older boys plan to attend missions. I appreciate the gospel in their lives and like the decisions they are making in regards to friends and peer pressure.

Our household follows many of the church doctrine including not attending dances until they are fourteen years old, which Michael did not seem to have an issue with, however Steffen’s friends think mom’s rule is silly and old fashion and have asked him to lie to me, so he can attend a dance with them. However, he made the decision to ‘choose the right’ and continues to wait until he is fourteen. 

Both Steffen and Michael are busy with young men-young woman activities, Boy Scouts, and Michael attends Seminary (an early morning Bible study group before school). For the third year in a row, Michael finished in the 100 percent club (attending Seminary with 100% attendance). At the end of the school year is a semi-formal dinner with the Stake leaders, followed by a dance. Michael attended the dinner and dance yesterday evening; however, my ever-growing son came into my room last night with a pair of slacks, which were too short on him. I asked if the seam had been taken out and he said it had been and of course, his other slacks were in the laundry. Yes, I know poor planning on both his and mom’s part; he really should have had slacks ready to go for the dinner. Nonetheless, I told him to find a good pair of jeans with no stains, rips, or holes. He wore a nice pair of Wrangler jeans, black button-down shirt, silver vest, and a bolo tie. He looked very sharp.

Then from what I understand, fifteen minutes before the dance ended, someone tapped him on the shoulder, lend him into a room, telling him he was improperly dressed, and had him watch a video on modesty. Really? Modesty? I could understand maybe, if he was dressed in hot pants or had his pants hanging down to his knees giving everyone a view of his boxers, but hello, that was not the case.

He also told me he spoke to the Stake President a few moments before the dance, and he patted him on the shoulder and told him to have fun. I honestly think, and hope, if the Stake President had a problem, he would have pulled Michael aside and told him he needed to call his parents and have them either bring a pair of slacks or take him home. I would really like to know who this man was and why he appointed himself to be the fashion police? 

I do have to commend Michael on not making a scene, because I don’t think I would have had the fortitude or control not to. He came home upset, of course. However, woke up at the crack of dawn, got dressed for church, and will be preparing the Sacrament this morning.

I, on the other hand, am fit to be tied, for I believe this situation could have been handed with a lot more tact!