I told my mother and my husband, but did not tell the news to anyone else. Why say anything if it turns out to be nothing, I had thought. I also wondered if the breast reduction I had years ago wasn’t a factor in the amount of tissue in the breast. Nevertheless, I did say a silent prayer or two that nothing would be found. I really did not need cancer on top of everything else my body has been through. “Why me?” I questioned. However, I would not let fear course through my body, but knew if it were cancer, I would cross the bridge, with my family by my side, when I came to it. My thoughts turned to Mary, a good friend who recently went through chemotherapy and radiation treatments, my aunt Martha, who recently had a mastectomy, and my high school friend, Lisa, who has stage-four cancer, and the cancer has spread to her bones and brain. She faces life’s challenges with humor and grace. I admire her courage and feel for her children who are close to the same ages as mine.
“I’m sure it’s just a cyst,” I repeated this mantra over and over again for the next week, until it was time for me to have the diagnostic mammogram. I was more concerned with the pain then the thought of cancer, thinking about the medieval torture device that squishes the ‘girls’ between two glass plates. However, the procedure was not as awful or painful as I thought it would be – sure, there was some pressure and having to stand still for a few moments in some rather awkward positions (mostly because of my height), but it wasn’t too bad. The next step was the ultrasound, and I have had several of those over the years, so I knew what to expect. The technician did the procedure and chatted with me, putting me at ease as we talked about boys and teenagers eating us out of house and home. When the exam was all over, a doctor from the imaging clinic came in and talked with me; nonetheless, he found nothing but breast tissue. I think I finally brew out the breath I had been holding for the last week.
Needless to say, I feel great and I'm grateful it wasn't anything.